Lately, (or honestly like all the time, 24/7 lol) I’ve been wrestling with, and turning over and over in my mind a thousand questions without answers, a million thoughts with seemingly no end. And this time, this whirlwind of thoughts has led me to the story of Peter.

But it’s not his famous walking-on-water experience that catches me this time. In my mind’s eye, I see Peter, way before Jesus ever called him or his life ever changed. He’s there in his fishing boat doing what he’s always done, what most likely his father has always done, and his father’s father.

But then Jesus comes—calls him out of his ordinary, out of his normal.

And for three years, Peter hangs out with Jesus. It’s three years of miracles, three years of living in the extraordinary, three years of learning intimacy, three years of character building, three years of learning the heart of God— when suddenly, plot twist, Peter unexpectedly meets the unexpected. Jesus—crucified. Nothing makes sense anymore. It’s a night of pain, anger, confusion, and failure. Why so suddenly this dark reality? There’s not really time for goodbyes or questions to be answered. Little did he realize those previous hours in the garden were some of his last with Jesus. And he had slept. He had slept then, but now he’s awake all night. Yet somehow, that night ends. But what now? Dejectedly, he wanders back to the sea. His hand runs the length of the old fishing net. Yeah, he’s just spent the last three years of his life living in the extraordinary, and now, what was he supposed to do but go back to his life as it was before? As he fights the semi-rough waters, he fights the storm in his soul.

Was all this only a dream? Was Jesus really who He said He was? And if so, then what in heavens name could explain this outcome? Frustration and anger fight for control. Was this all a lie? Vain hope! Why did he ever believe?!

But this night passes too. After spending three years with this holy Man, how could life go back to what it was? It’s only day three and life is already mundane. Peter is out at sea again, and maybe he barley realizes there’s not a single fish in these waters. Maybe he’s so lost in his unanswered questions that he doesn’t notice the empty sea. Or maybe the empty sea is too apparent resulting in his fiery frustration. But then suddenly, somehow, a distinct voice reaches across the waves and suggests that he fish on the other side. And it’s only moments before Peter realizes it’s Jesus. It’s been three days and slowly, three years of promises return to his beclouded mind. Promises of His death and resurrection, promises of His plan being fulfilled.

He who promised is faithful. 

And why am I sharing this? I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only Peter who unexpectedly met the unexpected. As of late, the unexpected has sent so many people back to live their lives as they were before. Maybe some of us have just spent the last years or days of our lives living in the extraordinary and learning His heart, and now, we’ve been sent back to life as it was before. Yet it simply can’t go back to being the same. And what is the purpose in picking up the old nets? Our thoughts run the length of all the tangled fishing nets currently in our lives.

Was this all only a dream? Is Jesus really who He says He is? And if so, then what in heavens name can explain this outcome? Frustration and anger fight for control. Vain hope! Why did I ever believe?!

Back at sea, we fish for answers, yet it’s an empty sea that frustrates our souls.

I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only Peter fishing in an empty sea.

Somehow, a distinct voice reaches across the waves suggesting that we fish on the other side. And I know I’m not the only Peter who’s been fishing on the side of doubt. Now He’s calling me to fish on the side of faith. The promises are there. And maybe now we are living those three days Peter lived. Those three days of unanswered questions and seemingly weak faith. Those three days of picking up the tangled nets of a life before and going back out to sea. But God’s promises are the bridge that gaps the three days after those three years of living in the extraordinary, to the resurrection. So maybe we are living those three days Peter lived, but He whispers it strong: there is still a resurrection. This is not the end of the story. I’m not done yet.

He who promised is faithful. 

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. I don’t know what will come, but I know Who will come. He will come. And He who promised IS faithful.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful” Hebrews 10:23