The early morning darkness greets me as I step outside the door. Crossing the dew-covered lawn and clamoring down the few steps, reality betrays the cold truth that yet again, me and goodbye have met. It seems we’re becoming closer friends than I had ever wished for.

In years past, when faced with same realities, I had stubbornly held onto my belief that goodbye was forever, had stubbornly tried to justify pain by telling myself the worst was true. The title of my life had seemed to be always goodbye. Again and again, I questioned if it was worth it to love—to open my heart only to have it all ripped away. I wondered why I would do it again only to be met face to face with goodbye.

Flashback after flashback cloud my mind as I stand there in the cool darkness. I’ve learned a lot about love since then, but the same questions that haunted me then, haunt me still: “did I do enough for these people? Did I really do everything in my power that I could have done? Did I honestly give all of myself for them? Could I have done more?”

I can’t help but feel the pain of not knowing if I really gave enough. Of not knowing if I honestly did my best, and of wondering that I could’ve done more, wondering if all I did was enough for them.

There in the morning darkness, as daylight dawns and reality fades into memories, He whispers a piece of His own beautiful heart:

Me too. I broke and I bled and I died and I wondered if everything I gave was enough for together forever with you.

I let His quiet whispers sink deep into my heart. He gave a million times more and went through the pain of not knowing if all He gave was enough for me—for you. I can’t help but ask if He too wondered if it was worth it to love. Yet He never stopped. He never stopped loving, never stopped giving.

Because yes. So many times I’ve wondered myself if it is worth it to love. I’ve wondered if it is worth the cost of embracing vulnerability and opening my heart and braving the risk of being hurt. But every time the answer has been so overwhelmingly clear: yes. Yes, it is so worth it to love.

Sometimes love hurts, yet always, love heals.

For Christ, love was worth it. He chose love even in the midst of pain. He chose love over choosing His life. It is more than worth it to love. Jesus couldn’t see beyond the tomb, yet for Him, love was worth the cost. It was worth it, even if LOVE was only enough for one. It was worth it to give all, even if it was only accepted by one. It was worth His life, even if His sacrifice was only appreciated by one. He gave His very existence so goodbye wouldn’t be forever. He gave His all so we could spend forever together with Him. Goodbye still hurts, but this time it’s different. Because this time, I know heaven is on the horizon. This time, I know goodbye is not forever.