Darkness settles; daylight dissipates—spreads thin—into night. I’m feeling spread thin myself, like a piece of glass melting in a furnace, dangerously fragile and thin. Its literally been days since I dragged myself out of the deep and demeaning abyss of darkness and now, here I am again—fighting. Fighting the familiar lies that label me failure, fanatic, facade. Fighting for freedom from this unforgiving fusillade against my faith. This devious darkness can’t get enough of me. Its seducing shadow casts a silent spell that’s somehow comforting. Because it’s under cover of darkness that one can finally fall asleep beneath depression’s cozy quilt. One can hide their heavy heart where no light leaks in. It’s easy to bury the brokenness, to let this bloody battle take over, and to let myself be bruised, burned, betrayed. It’s all blurry and I’m blinded by these blazing bullets—these lies of the devil. Perhaps it’s an overwhelming ocean of anxiety or maybe it’s the toxic lies tempting me to let go of truth and turn towards the taboo.

But living lies that make me lame isn’t the way to glory.

This isn’t the path of the brave. It isn’t the path of the brave to wander among the gravesites, the place of death and darkness and doubt. It isn’t the path of the brave to hide my heart and it isn’t the path of the brave to bury brokenness. The brave face the light.

The brave embrace the brokenness, let the light in and let the light leak out.

The brave battle the dark, but they don’t become the dark. The brave see through depression’s deceptive cover and dare to denounce darkness. The brave fight for freedom, fight to fly on wings of hope. The brave refuse to remain bound to limiting lies that cripple faith. The brave break the silence and sing through bitter storms. The brave let LOVE become their bridge across deep waters. The brave don’t give up, give in. The brave lean into grace, and it’s not that the brave don’t lose their balance and fall sometimes.

What makes them brave is the rising again, the getting back up when hope seems lost.

And so I rise.

“When I fall, I will arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.” Micah 7:8